The Attack of Charles Yak

Everyone in Yakville ate yak.
Yohann, a yak-eating yodeler, ate yak on Yak Hill
with his kids Jane, Jamey and Jill
and their yak-eating dog, Bill.
Mayor McDoo, who was shaped like a pear,
was mayor because he ate the most yak at the 1992 Yakville County Fair.

There were the snooty yak-eating yak eaters in the Yakville blimp.
There was the famous Yakville Yak yak eating cheer-leading chimp.
Everyone ate yak, even General George C. Gimp
who never left his bed and who had not one tooth in his head.

Black Jack the miner ate yak from Moe’s Diner
on back of his yak-eating horse, Mack.
And the Yakville Yaks ate yak until they were blue ...
and lost every football game too.

But one Yakopolitan named Kamille
would eat an old dirty seal
before she would eat yak,
even savory yak stew from her sweet Grammy Sue.
No yak steak! No yak fudge! 
Not even a hot yak rump roast
in thick yak gravy sludge.
No yak strudel or yak hotdogs,
Not even yak hair spaghetti with spicy yak meatballs.

But Kamille felt all alone
while everyone else ate yak the bone.

But during Yak Fest when the rest of the Yakopolitans
ate a great yak feast.
Kamille spotted a great big brown beast
coming fast from the East.

That beast was Charles Yak,
the largest yak she ever saw
who was 106 feet tall
and 154 feet from his wooly head
down to his wooly yak feet!
And he stumbled his way down Yak Hill
and rumbled like an avalanche towards Yakville.

And everyone wailed and cried
except for the beast
who came for a feast ...
but not to feast on delicious roasted yak beast.
Charles Yak came for a different kind of feast.
He came for a Yakopolitan feast ...
which the Yakopolitans liked least.

Charles Yak took revenge on Yakville.
He swallowed the Yakville blimp like a pill,
And the famous Yakville Yak cheer-leading Chimp
and General George G. Gimp,
and that yak-eating dog, Bill,
and Jane, Jamey and Jill and their yak-eating yodeling dad
Yohann, and Mayor McDoo ... 
he ate him too.

And Black Jack the Miner, Mack the horse, and Moe’s Diner.
And the Yakville Yaks (which no one missed)
and everyone else on his yak-eating list,
even sweet Grammy Sue.

But Charles Yak would eat an old dirty seal
before he would eat Kamille
for she was not like all the other Yakopolitan yak eaters
who ate every yak within a 1000 meters.
And though Kamille did not eat yak
she climbed up on his back
and kindly asked Charles Yak to give back Yakville.

Charles Yak thought it over and just then his big stomach grumbled
while Yohann yodeled in his belly and a football was fumbled.
Yakville had made Charles very ill ...
and so out like a pill came the Yakville blimp and
the dog, Bill, and Jane, Jamey and Jill
and Mayor McDoo,
and Black Jack the Miner, Mack the horse, Moe’s Diner,
and of course, sweet Grammy Sue ... 
she came out too.

And Charles Yak kissed Kamille goodbye and went back east
and Yakville was rid of the great yak beast.
But never again did Yakville eat Yak ...
for fear that Charles Yak might one day come back.


And Kamille grew up and became Mayor
for eating the LEAST amount of yak at the Yakville County Fair.
And instead of yak they raised wheat in the valley and on the hill
and made bread and Yakville became Breadville.
And they had a great Breadville County Bread Fair and Bread Fest ...
which everyone liked best.
And in the middle of town they erected a statue of Charles Yak,
who would never again come back.